I have huge fear - i am affraid to appear too clingy. I am not affraid to show my affection to someone, but i don't ever want to be the one, who takes the first step. The first step not necceserily means going to a guy i like and expressing this to him, but i hate being the one, who texts or e-mails first. God forbid be the one who asks a GUY out. I could know, that this particular guy REALLY likes me, and i won't be turned down, i still hate taking the first step. Do you have the same feeling? Like, i want to talk to someone, but i have this ugly feeling in my stomach, that maybe he is busy and i'll be bothering him and he won't, say, text back and then i feel that i lost my... quality? my secrecy.. i don't even know how to put it, but i am sure you all understand it. This especialy is a big problem in the beggining of love affairs. How do i let a guy know that i like him? (This is rethorical question)
My girlfriends keep telling me, that this is XXI century, and there are no need to live in the tower and wait for Prince Charming to come up, you have to make things happen yourself these days, cause guys are not good at picking signals, or just waiting for a girl, who just doesn't seem interested.... I guess they are right.
ALL of my ex boyfriends had complained to me that i was lacking affection towrds them. No i wasn't. I just wasn't showing it. I guess it is a way of protecting myself, that in case i would get dumped, i could leave the relationship with my head held high and say ''That's ok. I didn't like you that much anyway.'' That would be hard to do, if i were all ''Hey there, my hunny little pumpkin bunny, i missed you so much i stared at your picture for 4hours!!!'' Yeah.... But guys said that they actualy like to hear silly stuff like this, that shows them that they are being cared of.
I believe that distancing myself from my love affairs had to do something with and watching my friends, who got their heart stomped on and crushed and broken by guys that were truly not so much into them, but my friends believed they were and it got them into bad places. I need to make sure that a guy really likes me, and not just wants to hook up with me.
ANOTHER thing is watching movies, like How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days or He's Just Not That Into You and seeing mistakes that girls make and appears clingy to guys, just barely by showing their interest and care.
And all guys are hunters. They need to hunt their prey, and i am fine of being the prey. My motto in a relationships is - If a guy wants to meet you again - HE will make it happen. Go ahead - chase me!
Why am i feeling i need to get this off my chest? Because i think that it is time to change my beliefs, and become a little more.. affectionate and warm in showing my feelings... I met a guy recently, and i kinda would like to see how it would work out, but again - i hate being the first that shows interest.. Well that's actually badly put.. We are in a 3nd date stage and we allready kissed *coughs*made out*coughs*, but he is rather restrained towards me, that bugs me. So my friend told me that i need to show him that i really like him, cause i may have said something that could've made him believe that i am not interested in getting to know him better.
Anywayyys.. Am i the only one acting this weird...??