Monday, October 11, 2010

Off topic - relationships! I am sure i am not the only one!?

I have huge fear - i am affraid to appear too clingy. I am not affraid to show my affection to someone, but i don't ever want to be the one, who takes the first step. The first step not necceserily means going to a guy i like and expressing this to him, but i hate being the one, who texts or e-mails first. God forbid be the one who asks a GUY out. I could know, that this particular guy REALLY likes me, and i won't be turned down, i still hate taking the first step. Do you have the same feeling? Like, i want to talk to someone, but i have this ugly feeling in my stomach, that maybe he is busy and i'll be bothering him and he won't, say, text back and then i feel that i lost my... quality? my secrecy.. i don't even know how to put it, but i am sure you all understand it. This especialy is a big problem in the beggining of love affairs. How do i let a guy know that i like him? (This is rethorical question)

So let's call my complex A Princess complex, because i feel the need to be conquered by a guy, and then i can be all his. So, this Princess complex is actually keeping me restrained from guys i like. Which is bad. The guys i manage to make a first sparkle-ey contact with often just stops making an effort to conquer me, because i just don't seem interested. When in fact i am building an imaginary wedding scenario in my head.

My girlfriends keep telling me, that this is XXI century, and there are no need to live in the tower and wait for Prince Charming to come up, you have to make things happen yourself these days, cause guys are not good at picking signals, or just waiting for a girl, who just doesn't seem interested.... I guess they are right.

ALL of my ex boyfriends had complained to me that i was lacking affection towrds them. No i wasn't. I just wasn't showing it. I guess it is a way of protecting myself, that in case i would get dumped, i could leave the relationship with my head held high and say ''That's ok. I didn't like you that much anyway.'' That would be hard to do, if i were all ''Hey there, my hunny little pumpkin bunny, i missed you so much i stared at your picture for 4hours!!!'' Yeah.... But guys said that they actualy like to hear silly stuff like this, that shows them that they are being cared of.

I believe that distancing myself from my love affairs had to do something with and watching my friends, who got their heart stomped on and crushed and broken by guys that were truly not so much into them, but my friends believed they were and it got them into bad places. I need to make sure that a guy really  likes me, and not just wants to hook up with me.

ANOTHER thing is watching movies, like How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days or He's Just Not That Into You and seeing mistakes that girls make and appears clingy to guys, just barely by showing their interest and care.

And all guys are hunters. They need to hunt their prey, and i am fine of being the prey. My motto in a relationships is - If a guy wants to meet you again - HE will make it happen. Go ahead - chase me!

Why am i feeling i need to get this off my chest? Because i think that it is time to change my beliefs, and become a little more.. affectionate and warm in showing my feelings... I met a guy recently, and i kinda would like to see how it would work out, but again - i hate being the first that shows interest.. Well that's actually badly put.. We are in a 3nd date stage and we allready kissed *coughs*made out*coughs*, but he is rather restrained towards me, that bugs me. So my friend told me that i need to show him that i really like him, cause i may have said something that could've made him believe that i am not interested in getting to know him better.

Anywayyys.. Am i the only one acting this weird...??

5 comments:

  1. its not clingy to tell a guy how you feel at all....clingy is being with them all the time, or not giving the guy his space, or just suffocating him, but getting to know him more isnt bad either, remember the "Chase"

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  2. -How do i let a guy know that i like him?-

    Straight away. Do not ask his best friend is he gay or something. Has he a girlfriend or boyfriend.

    If u ask him personally, whatever the answer is u'll have a good friend or maybe boyfriend.

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  3. No, I have the same problem. I tend to be cold and non-affectionate to guys I really like and flirtatious with guys I have no interest in. I think it's a given, no? Flirting is fun, but I don't want to risk rejection from someone I would care to be rejected by.

    I read somewhere that girls think that guys make the first move, but actually guys are usually prompted by girls 'signals'. It goes back to nature, where guys read your body language to see if you are interested. This should be instinctual, an animal instinct, but some guys lack this observational skill and have their egos to thank for their constant attention and rejections. Girls see guys acting dumb and they think they don't want to make the same mistakes but actually if you like someone and you know they like you (girls usually know better than guys anyhow) then go for it. I asked a guy out long time ago and he said yes :) I think a guy will rarely say no...unless he's taken or gay or in love with someone already (but you wouldn't go for him if he were the last two, would you?)

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  4. I really love this kinda stuff, I'm a self help junkie as well as a beauty junkie. Hope you don't mind if I reccomend you some great books :) mars and venus on a date and why men love bitches. I think men are definately supposed to do the casing but we should send out positive signs too, I think the best advice with guys is to learn your listen to your gut instinct it never lets you down x

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  5. Come back to blogging pleaseeeee

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