Thursday, January 19, 2012

Succesful relationship?

(I am going further and further from beeing a ''Beauty Blog'' aren't I...?)

In the past couple of months SO MANY of my friend couples have broken up it's not even funny. People who I have known since middle-school and that been dating since, people whose relationships looked like inspiring piece of art, people who I looked up to and people who have been through so much together and still went side by side. And now I keep finding myself constantly consoling my friends with ''There are lots of other fish in the sea'' talk, while in fact, I myself grieve over on & off relationship yet another ending.

I have a couple of friends, which I usually call Phenomenon. He is artistic, master of sarcasm, precise and high maintanence, and she is a total opposite of him. Wannabe businesswoman, hotheaded and spontaneous mess. Well, it is quite difficult to describe, but I can sum up to say that sometimes I wonder how she stands his constant mutter and how he reconciled with her ​​knowledge of everything.  
And the answer may come one - love. 

And it's really nice to me, that they sometimes playfully fight, and mock each other, and sometimes they can't keep their hands off one another. I was only amazed why they do not attend parties together? 
Yesterday our group of friends got together to have funAlcohol, sauna, euphoria... Suddenly, perhaps of joy, perhaps from the aforementioned mixture of things He loses his head and starts to fool around like crazy - dance, shout  and so on. I sit, I  watch and laugh - people have different ways to relax. And all that was while She triple-checked if He still has his wallet, haven't lost his phone and if He really remembers his name. Finally, they amicably decided to go home. 
And almost going out the door She said to me: ''You know, maybe that is why I don't go to parties with him. I don't see - I sleep well. When he goes out - I know that he'll return. But when you have a chance to watch the  tomfoolery, I get an irresistible desire to protect, nurture, care for, which will eventually grow into ''Honey, it's time to go home...'' And I don't want to act like another mother for him. He can be fine perfectly fine without the nurturing.''
The one key to succesful relationship is To Trust And Let Go. And wait for the return. You can't keep your siginificant other smothered. Eventually it will backfire. It's in human nature to want what you can't have. If it's freedom - one may be tempted to flee. That is why I admire these friends, because they know how to let one another go.

Sadly this is one of few strong and going couples that are left in my circle. Almost all others crumbled and now are going through difficult process of choosing which friends to keep (issue that affects us - friends of couples - personally. It's like custody battle. And we are the children.), how to move on, how to start dating again, how to present the news to parents, how to make peace with  relatives constantly asking ''where is *insert Ex name here*? What? You broke up? oh...WHY??'', and  finding out that your body is a hydration machine - even if you cry for an hour straight, you will still have tears left... and so on...

In same group of buddies we found ourselves talking about relationships and how it all goes down the drain, mostly because people are unwilling to work out the issues and run for the hills after something starts to shake. Look at effin Hollywood - K.Perry&R.Brand, V.Paradis&J.Depp, J.P.Smith&W.Smith, J.Lo&M.Anthony...
It seems that times got so easy, that relationships people are expecting to have should be easy too, WHILE in fact it's probobly the most complicated thing there could be. My one of besties, who had never had passed third date with any guy, once asked me, why my relationship seemed so difficult?  According to her relationships are easy. Of course, I considered the source, and kept my mouth shut. But it's obviuos, that it's not all rainbows and butterflies. Seriuos relationship is compromises, consistency and again - work. But it's often all worth it in the end. We are talking about two entirely different people -a man and a woman, with different character traits trying to become a unit.
My one amazing friend yesterday said: ''I can guess  that succesful relationship is a combination of recognizing the person that’s right for you, grabbing hold when the chance presents itself, having a good portion of luck, and constant, open communication so that both could evolve together. And I believe that the best part of rich and diverse experiences is having someone with whom to share it.” 

And I agree.

VaidaG ;)

1 comment:

  1. This was a wonderful post to read! Not that I'm happy to read that a lot of your friend couples have broken up, but I agree with your friend as well and definitely think you should hold onto your other half when you find him/her. Relationships are definitely not easy, but communication is the key!


I know You have something to say about this. Shoot!