Wednesday, August 1, 2012

If I were a Boy...

Men and women are different, that is no surprise. We had evolved from different planets. We have different understanding and perception, different range of emotions and different qualities.

Sometimes these differences are way out of hand.
Yet we find an itching need to get ourselves coupled up with a creature from another planet and to find a way to work and enjoy being in a relationship.

From the very first time I heard Beyonce's ''If I were a boy'' I was in awe. So many women out there is feeling the same way. What if roles were reversed? Could us GIRLS get away with it?

The lyrics of "If I Were a Boy" are about a gender-swap dream. How things would be different if men had women's sense of empathy? It depicts common little things that men do to hurt their significant others, that mean alot in the relationships e.g. not answering their phones.

In the video beggingin her husband is very supportive. He makes her breakfast, excited about it, though the girls kinda don't have time to eat it, he spends time at work looking for the perfect present to brighten her day and forgoes hanging out with his attractive coworkers so he can be available when his wife gets off her shift. However, this chicka is not thinking about him at all. Instead, she is spending her off-hours with her fellow officers, particularly her male partner, who she seems enamored with. Her husband tries calling, but she ignores the phone. And later, when her husband gives her a present - earrings she puts them on to go dancing with her partner at a party. Her husband gets upset when he sees them, and when he confronts her about this at home, she acts like he is making a big deal out of nothing.  
 "When you act like that, I don't think you realize how it makes me look... or feel,"
he tells her. The girl then asks him in a condescending tone,  
"Why are you so jealous? It's not like I'm sleeping with the guy..." 
 Then the story reverses, and Knowles starts to cry. The situation that she put her husband in, it turns out, is the situation she is in - he is the police officer, and she is the supportive wife who is taken for granted.

The paradox is that when we first see it from the girls perspective, her behavior seems abnormal. And when it's the guy doing everything she just did in the previous scenes, it becomes all too familiar. 
And this is the point in the song.

I am not trying to be a sexist here, girls do bullshit too! We can also be mean as hell (I know, I have...). But I think that lots of females can relate to the song. And the video can feel like a mirror to their own lifes. R-Kelly did a mash with this song with his own lyrics, answering Beyonce's and it is also true! I don't understand women who keep their men on the tight leash, snoop around, read their text messages etc... That only means you don't feel confident and don't trust your partner's loyalty.

The only cocnlusion I can make is the one I already mentioned maybe a dozen times in this post: men are different than women and we can't expect them to be like we want them to be. I am sure we also often irritate and dissapoint them. We can be needy, we talk too much, we wear too much make up, we don't give them space and so on...
But this is not post about them. It's about girls, who sometimes try to hard and too blind trying to please their men. Stop doing it, when you see he is acting like an asshole. Admit it. Don't lie to yourself. Take care of yourself first. I know, it is easy to say, cause it is litterally in our genes to be caring and empathic, but we gotta remember that we build our own luck. No men can complete you if he doesn't want you to complete him.

Love them and take care of them, while staying wide-awake :)


p.s. don't ever become an asshole, R <3


  1. I know that you obviously aren't trying to be sexist in any way, or whoever wrote these lyrics wasn't trying to be sexist. There is clearly a specific meaning to this song.

    I just hate when I hear it, because it just reminds me of the age-old saying "nice guys finish last". It seems to me that whenever a girl actually finds that wonderful guy who treats her like a queen, listens to her, understands her, worries about her, respects her, adores her and would never hurt her, they don't care one bit. They always want to be with that complete asshole that hurt them over and over, and the nice guy just doesn't even compare to him.

    I've been there, and I'm sure that I'm not alone on this one. My point mainly is about guys rather than girls, though. There are a lot more inconsiderate assholes out there than there is nice guys.

    I just wish sometimes that when girls say that they want a sensitive, considerate man who takes care of them, that it was actually true.

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    I mentioned that women can be AND ARE mean, therefore - ''nice guys finish last''(however there are exceptions to the rule). If you let your girlfriend walk all over you, and she will smell that you will treat her like a Queen no matter what - she will lose respect for you and start searching for someoen who makes life more interesting. Always getting what you want is no fun. Other thing is - You are the man in a relationship and you have to draw the lines. Women need to know that they have a strong partner, strong individual who can be reliable family man. Not a pushover sissy. You NEED to be ''nice, understanding and respectful...'' for YOUR woman, but most often the type of guys that You are talking about are just gawks who let everyone step on their toes. Like the guy in the video with the reversed roles. He swallows his pride and with glazy eyes watches how HIS WOMAN acts like a total bitch.

    Men have to be adamant in maintaining a healthy relationship status quo. If no - any woman will climb on their heads.

    We are like that.

    But everything what we are talking about in the comments right now - is a whole DIFFERENT question :)

    Take Care!

  3. If a girl is fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, capable of anything no man should ever be able to take that away from her.


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